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Do long distance relationships work?

 
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WheelSpinners
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 9:47 pm    Post subject: Do long distance relationships work? Reply with quote

Have any of you guys ever been in a long distance relationships that works out in the end? I'm in one now at it seems to be falling apart. Sad
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Bandit Bill
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 10:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I had a penpal when I was a kid, It never worked out Wink

In all seriousness, no long distance relationship has worked for me. Even working out of town as much as I do, takes it's toll on a relationship. I guess it all depends on the relationship and the amount of time you will be apart.
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Smithcraft
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 1:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's hard to sustain something like that. Not only when it's long distance, but once it becomes a more local relationship, and the whole dynamic changes.

I don't think I would ever want to do it again!

Good luck though.

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Thomo
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 8:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I did 4 yrs weekending and it does not work. Eventually one of you or even both of you will need to make the jump and move. Also if you are the one who does most of the travelling like I did you will find your own world gets neglected.
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WheelSpinners
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 12:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm having that very trouble Thomo. I'm the one always traveling to see and be with her. Now certain things are starting to suffer on my side and I'm getting tired from all the travel. I hate to see the relationship end, but she just doesn't seem willing to move any closer and leave family. And we always talked about her coming to me because of my job. It's my first really decent job. I don't think I could get another one as good. Oh well, I just think things are falling part. Thanks for the advice guys.
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Bandit Bill
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 1:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm not sure how old you are WheelSpinners or how old she is, but it sounds like she's not that much into it.

If it's not there and it's long distance then move on. Why wait for it to fall apart further? I'd minimally tell her that it's up to her to come see you equally as often. If she's not game, then dump her.

If she's already not willing to do her part it's likely a sign of things to come. It's a 2 way street bro.

Again, not knowing how old you are, makes things tough. After you've went through a number of relationships, dumping shitty ones becomes real easy. You might have to go through a few to find a solid one. I'm sure there are plenty of women in your area.


Last edited by Bandit Bill on Fri Mar 26, 2010 2:47 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Thomo
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 1:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

WheelSpinners wrote:
I'm having that very trouble Thomo. I'm the one always traveling to see and be with her. Now certain things are starting to suffer on my side and I'm getting tired from all the travel. I hate to see the relationship end, but she just doesn't seem willing to move any closer and leave family. And we always talked about her coming to me because of my job. It's my first really decent job. I don't think I could get another one as good. Oh well, I just think things are falling part. Thanks for the advice guys.


The who was going to move bit was the end of us. Broke up a couple of times and got back together with a promise of things changing but they never did. Sounds like you are at crunch time and perhaps if the job is more important she is not the girls for you. If she was right it would be the other way round and you would make the move as equally she would if you were right for her. Relationships - hard hard work to get them right .
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Ben Tex
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 3:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sometimes patience is needed though. My wife and I dated long distance for almost four years. She was in Florida and I was here in Texas. It just took her some time to build up the nerve and leave that part of her life behind. I was willing to give her the time because I really love her and like having her in my life. Plus, I'm a huge geek! Good girls can be hard for us to find. Laughing

I don't know the entire story, but maybe you should give it a little more time. I mean, unless it's starting to affect your work and stuff. Then maybe it's time to move on or give her an ultimatum.
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